Personal Narrative – Conferencing Guide

Purpose: A personal narrative is a composition that describes a single memorable experience in the life of the writer. The experience must be important and memorable. This experience can be an ordinary experience. There should be a connection between emotion and the events.

1. Does the incident have relevance to the reader?

2. Will the incident/story interest the reader?

3. Does this piece help the reader see something, lead the reader to think about something, or lead the reader to reflect on human experience?

Audience: Audience awareness if evident as the writer explains the importance of the events not only to oneself but also to those who may be reading the piece. This may be evident with direct “talk” with the audience (Have you ever…? Do you remember when…?).

1. Do you, as the reader, feel the way the writer felt during the event? Can you identify with the emotion?

2. As a reader, can you imagine yourself in the situation, time period?

Organization/Idea Development/Detail:

1. Is the narrative in chronological order? Does it start in the past? Is reflection on the present apparent?

2. Is the narrative written in the first person? (Pronouns such as I, my, mine, we, us, etc. should be evident throughout the piece.)

2. Does the narrative have a beginning?

a. Does the narrative begin by plunging into the action?

b. Does the narrative begin with a general statement or controlling idea (this might be the moral of the story type of statement)?

3. Does the narrative have a middle?

a. Are strong, clear descriptions of the events present?

b. Are emotions connected to the events/actions?

c. Are reactions to events clear and detailed?

d. Does the writer relay specific emotions throughout the piece? Can you tell how the writer felt during this time period? Does the writer tell you or does he/she show you emotions?

e. Does the writer reveal what he/she saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched?

f. Does the writer reveal his/her inner thoughts?

e. Is the story told in the past tense, first person? Since this is an event that happened in the past, verb choice should reflect this.

f. Are chronological words used to aide in organization? (First, then, after, etc)

4. Does the narrative have an effective ending?

a. Does the final action leave a lasting impression on the reader?

b. At the end of the narrative, is the incident over?

c. Is there any reflection about the event and its impact on life? The lesson learned should be embedded in the narrative and not an add on at the end. (We want to avoid endings such as; “I learned…, The moral of the story is…)

*The verb tense may change in the ending of the narrative if it ends with some type of statement of reflection or lesson learned.

Other things to look for to aide in detail:

1. Are there colorful adjectives, adverbs, and verbs used throughout the narrative?

2. Is the incident realistic and something the audience can relate to?

3. Is this simply a recount of the events? If so, this will not be an effective personal narrative. The narrative should have meaning to the writer as well as connect with the reader – provoke thought, emotion, recollection of similar experience, etc.

a. Do you, as a reader, have an emotional response to the piece?

1. Were you saddened?

2. Were you excited?

3. Were you angered?

b. Could you, as a reader, relate to the narrative? Did it cause you to remember a time when you experienced something similar?

c. Did you learn a lesson from this narrative?

Sentences:

1. Is there a variety of sentence lengths and structure?

A. Simple (noun – verb)

B. Compound (contains conjunctions – and, or, but, therefore)

C. Complex (semicolon (;) connects two sentences).

D. Compound-complex (combination of B and C).

2. Do transitions indicate time sequence? Are the transitions smooth? (Sample transition words: once, then, now, soon, while, finally, suddenly, after a few seconds, etc.)

Language:

1. Was a thesaurus used to vary word choices?

2. Does the student use figurative language to make the writing interesting, clear, and creative?

a. Simile – comparison of two things using like or as (Her hair was like silk).

b. Metaphor – comparison of two things without using like or as (Aladdin was a diamond in the rough).

c. Personification – Giving human characteristics to non-human things such as an idea, object, or animal (The stars danced with the moon).

d. Onomatopoeia – A word whose sound makes you think of its meaning. (buzz, zing, zap, swish, etc)

e. Hyperbole – An exaggeration.

3. Does the student use sensory language? (language that appeals to one or more of the five senses).

4. Is there a variety of ending punctuation to add to the story (!, ?, .)?

Correctness:

1. Is the spelling correct?

a. Watch for misplaced words or words that do not fit. Students will automatically think the computer suggestion is correct and it may not be the correct word in meaning or spelling.

2. Is punctuation correct?

3. Is capitalization correct?

4. Is verb tense correct? Since this is a memorable, past experience verbs should be past tense.

Whitaker

Some Ways to Help Students Gain a Focus in Their Narratives

I. When I tell about the time when ____, my readers will understand that _____

2. When I tell this story, I will prove that _____

3. This narrative is like an example of ____ because it _______

4. When I tell this narrative, I will show that I think ____ about ______

5. What this narrative shows about me and others is _______

6. When 1 tell this story, readers will decide about or look at something in a different way. Here's what they will decide, see: _______

7. This narrative will show something about ____ that people need to think more about because ______

8, What I see about this experience now that I didn't see then is _______

9. In reading this narrative, the one thing that people will think most about is _____

10. Of all the things I could write about, 1 have chosen this one because it will help others see that _________

11. If a reader asked me what my narrative says, in one sentence, 1 would say

12. The title of my story reveals an idea about my experience. The idea is that_

13. The most important thing I hope readers will not miss in my narrative is _______

14. When readers talk about my narrative, they will say, "Here's a story that shows "

15. What my story says about human beings is _______

16. My narrative is about me, but it is also about other people because it ______

17. My story shows readers that some people solve problems by because _______

18. My story can help people by showing them that _______

19. When readers see the way I or my characters solve a conflict, they will think that -.

-7

Whitaker

"Leads" in Personal Writing

Basic Purposes:

~ Engage the reader's interest.

*** Provide some indication of the purpose or direction of the writing, a focus.

*** Orient the reader and begin the account.

1. Descriptive lead: Provide a description of a person or a place to start the account. Sometimes writer pick a key detail about a person or an object (a hat, for example). Orienting the reader to the context is useful. "The wind had picked up in the Stadium. Papers around the concession stand fluttered and stuck on the fence."

2. Talk lead: Begin with "inside talk" or "outside talk. "You have to leave! But why?"

3. Reader lead: Start by addressing the reader directly. "You probably have faced one of those moments when you knew that you were going to do something you didn't want to do."

4. History or background lead: Orient the reader by providing background details and explanation that will bring the reader up to the time of the events in the narrative. "We had lived on Main Street

for years, and I have many memories of good times on that street. Once.." "Most small towns have characters, many of whom appear regularly at the court house square."

5. Comparison lead: Use a form of comparison to set up the reader for the account. "Like a cow, she stood there in the aisle."

6. Word-play lead: Start by reference to a saying or a phrase that pertains to the meaning of the narrative. "A stitch in time, the saying goes. Right, it's easy to say."

7. Jump-into-action lead: With no orientation, start the writing with action: "I dropped the ball. I just dropped the ball."

8. Contraries lead: Begin by reference to what was not as a way of setting up for what was. Not that I was a perfect cook or anything like that. I hadn't had years of experience either. Still..

9. Focus-on-me lead: Start by directing the reader's attention to senses, feelings, thoughts. "I felt my heart thumping. I was sure that others around me could hear it,"

10. Question lead: Pose a question, an other-than-obvious question, to get the writing going: "Why hadn't I thought of it before?" (A string of questions also can work, but be careful of distracting the reader with too many questions; also, if you use this lead, try to raise a question that is not obvious or over-general in its answer.)

II. Key-word lead: Draw the readers attention to a key word or phrase, one that gets the reader thinking, that may convey some feeling, and that also shows the idea you will be developing. Regret, Yes...."Confusion is the word that comes to mind now as I think about that scene with Bill."

Whitaker

Writing about Personal Experience: Idea Development/Support

As you are developing your writing, consider the following options-ways to support and develop your ideas and ways to engage readers.

1. Add descriptive details about people, places, actions. Don't just tell, show.

2. Provide details about your feelings and refer to your senses. Tell what you imagine to be the feelings of others. "My hands were cold and numb." "The breeze from the window was fresh and cool." "I could feel myself getting nervous. My heart thumped. My hands were a little clammy."

3. Use dialogue-selectively. Don't "over talk, "though. "Clips" of talk can be effective. Readers don't always need every word that was said. "Talk' can make the writing realistic.

4. Make comparisons and contrasts. "It was as though she had never met me." "Her eyes were a little like a cat's at that moment." "The tone of her voice had changed. It ...."

5. Directly "talk" or refer to the reader: "A reader might wonder why....

6. Provide "locating" words and phrases: "Placing her hand near the phone, she ....""He had moved nearer to the car and then ...."

7. Tell about your thoughts during the action and maybe convey your thoughts now: "The pressure was on mc, I realized." "When I think about all this now, I see that ...."

Add "inside talk," what you said or might have said to yourself: "1 know he doesn't want to go, but maybe jf I don't let on, he will go anyway,"

9. Tell about what you imagined; guess about the why of some action. "I think I know now why he did that. It was because.."I guess he had no other choice. After all ...."

10. Include exact numbers, names, colors, particular facts that show your close observation. These details make the writing realistic and engaging for readers.

11. Add think-about-it sentences, interpreting to show your thinking and to help readers: "It is important to understand that I had never been fishing before." "I knew that the consequences of not acting were serious, so

12. Provide some background information or explanation that will help the reader: "At that time, our family had an old blue Chevy truck. My mom's father had given it to us, and even though it had a few dents, it was pretty reliable."

13 Repeat an important detail about a person or place. "Again, he shuffled his feet and looked aside," Repeat an important word or phrase.

14. Raise questions about people or action. "As I think now about my mom, I ask myself "Why?"

Whitaker

"Closures" in Personal Writing

Writers use a variety of techniques to create closure in their personal narratives, memoirs, etc. Of course, the main things to remember are that the closing should be effective with readers and the closure should help the writer convey ideas or feelings about something in his or her experience. The closure brings the writing to a meaningful ending and usually helps the reader see something the writer thinks is important about human experience. Though some writers create "explicit closures" in which they interpret or analyze or teach, other writers create "understated closures" in which the ideas or feelings are evident but are not elaborated for the reader. Readers want to understand something about human experience, but readers often do not want a "tacked-on sermon" or lesson. A closure can lead the reader to do some thinking on his own while recognizing that the writer is consciously leading the reader to understand, feel, or think about

something in human experience. In any event, here are some ways to create closure in a personal writing.

1 Return to the lead. Refer to something mentioned in the beginning or use the same language or repeat a line that draws attention to important ideas. Bring the reader full circle.

2 Present wishes, wonders, questions. Reflect and encourage the reader to reflect about what has been presented so far in the writing. Reveal thinking and lead the reader also to think about human

experience. "I sometimes wonder now about ...."

3. Consider the why of it all. When people write about their lives they often do so in order to analyze their experiences, to determine why something took place, why something is important, how something has influenced people. Raise a question about the why and follow through to

answer it. "Why do people act like that?" "Well, what does that front porch say about our family?" Follow the question with thoughts interpreting, analyzing, drawing conclusions, etc.

4 Refer to the reader. Directly "talk" with the reader, drawing attention to the ideas in your personal writing and their importance. "You might have seen scenes like this at Wal-Mart.

5 End with an important action. "At that point, my mother turned, looked at me, and closed the door." The "closing" action helps the reader understand something about the writer’s experience, something that causes the reader to think or to feel something about human experience.

6. End with a description. "I looked across the playing field, now completely deserted. The wind had picked up, and papers fluttered across the field to hang on the fence. The score board lights dimmed, and the numbers disappeared." The description attempts to convey ideas and feelings indirectly engaging the reader in thinking and helping the reader visualize the experience.

7 End with "telling words" or dialogue. She said, "It doesn't have to be this way." This kind of closure indirectly conveys the writer's ideas and leads the reader to think about the experience.

8 Refer to a line from a song or a film, or use a saying. "When we turned the corner into our neighborhood, I remembered my grandfather s words...." Of course, you wouldn't want the line to be trite, so overworked that readers will think the writing has little to offer.

9 Step back and reflect. "From my perspective now, I understand ...."" I haven't forgotten ...." With this approach, try to be thoughtful. Don't just "tack on" a lesson.

Whitaker

Some Ways to Revise Your Narrative

Read your writing and think about where you might do one or more of the following to accomplish your purposes. Write notes to yourself or place numbers in the margin of your draft to remind you of some options.

1. Cut some part in order to focus more sharply on what is most important. Focus on a part of the experience and don't try to cover "everything."

2. Add relevant, insightful descriptive details about people, places, things.

3 Include realistic, relevant dialogue, talk. Help the reader "hear" people. Remember that you do not have to tell everything that was said; be selective.

4. Refer to senses, feelings (your senses and those of others you write about).

5 Include sentences that tell your thoughts about the people, action.

6. include sentences that tell more about you-the "inside narrative," what's going on inside.

7. Be more specific: names, numbers, details; make the writing realistic for the reader. Provide "particular detail." Show close observation, sharp eyesight to "get the reader into the scene."

8. Help the reader by giving some background information and explanation where the reader might need it. You might need to "fill in" some to help readers.

9. Give comparisons or contrasts. These help and engage the reader, and they show ideas.

10. Explain more to help the reader know the WHY or the WHY IMPORTANT. Include more "think-about-it sentences."

11. "Step back" and interpret for the reader; show your thinking, or pull things together. Include more "explain-for-reader sentences."

12. Refer to the reader's possible reactions, questions, concerns, ideas, etc.

13. Extend your thoughts by telling what you imagine (then or now) about the incident, people, action, etc.

14. Add transitions: words, phrases, even sentences--to help the reader.

15. Change words and sentences to make them more interesting and specific in meaning. Concentrate on specific nouns and strong verbs.

16. Include time and space signals.